i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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