Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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