He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
