Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize