I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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