So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
