But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
