We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize