Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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