I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
