just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltđ
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying âFUCK YOUâ to all my spam emails. Canât tell you how excited I am
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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