I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
