Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
