Christians are straight up FREAKS
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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