No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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