sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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