To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
