just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My vagina just clenched in fear
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
