i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The air was thick with penises
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize