There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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