you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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