Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
