OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
