Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
