its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize