i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
