Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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