after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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