she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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