Don't you send me to vm
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
