So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
