Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
