you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
