Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize