His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
