dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
