Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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