You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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