apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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