I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
