a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
