Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize