i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
