I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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