carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
