): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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