whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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