that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
