I hope mine doesn't look like that
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
