If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
