I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish you could order shots online.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
should my penis look like a turkey
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
