i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize