he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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