So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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