I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
