We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
