Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
