She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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